Negative thinking? Flip the Script for better emotional health!
Busy writing during the holiday season, I took a break to watch the movie: A Christmas Carol Goes Wrong. It’s a very funny movie about an off-beat theater group’s goofy production of the classic story. With constant running gags and a fight over who would play Scrooge, I was laughing so I had tears in my eyes. I was in a great mood — when I absent-mindedly opened a news app.
The first news article that came up described a political situation that was a pet peeve of mine. My mood suddenly took a nosedive – spiraling downward — and I began to feel upset almost immediately, but I kept reading. I was hooked, caught up in a doom loop of worried thoughts: I was doom scrolling!
When this doom scrolling realization sank in, it occurred to me that in difficult times – and especially during the holidays – people often get caught up in what I like to call “doom loop thinking.” Although it seems like holidays should make everyone happy (that’s what the TV commercials tell us,) they often bring about a feeling of loss, because the season puts a spotlight on what we don’t have or what we’ve lost over the years.
When faced with all of this difficult-to-control unhealthy thinking, people often find themselves indulging in destructive habits (self-negating habits.) These might include things like binge eating, binge drinking, and binge doom scrolling, which is a new kind of binge. For instance, you look on Reddit to learn more about a matter that concerns you and become slowly sucked in and swept away by everyone else’s fears about that same subject. And even though it’s nice to know you aren’t the only one worried about the issue, a growing sense of anxiety overtakes you as you scroll, a mood only realized when you come up for air and yell at the cat!
Luckily, this time I was prepared to deal with doom loop thinking. I had just been learning about the importance of being in control of my own personal emotional space. The term “emotional space” has many different meanings, but in this case, I am referring to the part of the self that is filled with emotions and thoughts. This is the area of yourself that thinks over problems, deliberates, and engages in self-talk. (I often think of this as being located around the upper body because that’s often where emotional thinking happens.)
As much as we try to deny it, we all talk to ourselves (self-talk.) Whether we say positive, uplifting comments, or negative comments – sometimes judgmental — these self-conversations are often emotionally charged. While happy, emotionally uplifting self-talk can improve your mental state and sense of wellness, negative self-talk can easily result in an all-consuming, emotional doom loop that snowballs and grows out of control.
This concept always reminds me of that TV show The Flintstones’ “Bad luck schlep rock” character, who carries a storm cloud with him wherever he goes. And that cloud didn’t appear out of nowhere … he built that storm cloud with a lot of gloomy, negative thinking, and eventually his self-image actually took on the character of a storm cloud.
Olympic gold medalist Lanny Bassham, in his awesome book about developing a winning attitude — With Winning in Mind — says that when you allow negative thoughts to rule your mental space, those thoughts can build up within you and actually become your self-image … it’s like you get a big letter “L” on your forehead. Negative thoughts circling in your head act like a battery for further worried thoughts … giving them life … kind of reminds you of Frankenstein’s monster: It’s alive!
In fact, Bassham says that when you engage in negative self-talk, complain, or express your worry about failing (losing,) what really happens is that you are focusing your mental energy on losing. Then your self-image takes on the character of losing and the result is that you often lose.
This reminds me of what happened when several friends of mine watched the movie: The Secret. The movie prompted them to write themselves a check for desired funds. Apparently, the amount written on the check was supposed to magically appear in their lives, but the money never manifested. When The Secret’s suggestions didn’t work for them, they did not seem all that surprised. This may be because the idea of actually receiving something valuable did not fit with their ingrained habits of negative thinking: they had a Bad luck schlep rock mentality.
Bassham also mentions the importance of phrasing your self-talk in positive terms, leaving out self-defeating statements and negative modifiers like “not” and “can’t.” In my opinion, maintaining positive self-talk prevents you from living by Murphy’s law, which states that “what can go wrong will go wrong.” Restated, this could be “what you believe can go wrong will go wrong.” Let me explain what I mean.
I learned a lesson about self-talk when I first started working in an Assisted Living facility. At the time, I knew I should be using uplifting self-talk, but I was nervous, which became a problem for me. Right off the bat, I realized that employees — regardless of their position — sometimes had to serve food in the dining room. I was worried that I was going to spill something on someone because I had never worked in a restaurant or anything like that … So, I kept trying to encourage myself, telling myself what I was “not going to do.”
According to Bassham, the problem with saying I’m not going to spill anything on anybody would be that you are using the negative word “not,” which expresses lack, and when you verbalize “spill anything on anybody,” you actually visualize the situation you are trying to avoid. He also suggests that engaging in negatively phrased or degrading self-talk can raise your stress level, making errors more likely.
Well, it should not have surprised me that when I first walked into the dining room for my new job at the assisted living facility, I walked right up to a nice, little old lady and spilled a whole cup of milk in her lap. She had no obvious reaction (I guess somebody had spilled milk on her before,) but I began to feel that I should have phrased my personal pep talk in more positive terms. In fact, I should have been telling myself, “I serve food and drinks easily, with careful movements and graceful delivery,” (like a ballet dancer!)
If you suspect yourself of practicing negative self-talk – it’s not always obvious – you might want to set aside time to examine your thoughts, sitting quietly for 10 to 20 minutes and listening to the thoughts you find running through your head.
When examining your thoughts, sometimes you may find what I call “doom loop” thinking. Which is similar to what happens during doom scrolling. It starts with an idea that troubles you, then you go through a cycle of emotionally charged self-talk regarding an issue of concern – reviewing this and that option, exasperated that there seems to be no solution – then you often find yourself repeating this addictive cycle of gloom in your head, making yourself more and more anxious.
According to one school of thought, each person has access to a specific amount of emotional energy, which should be conserved like a precious resource. And although research suggests that mindfulness practice may increase your emotional capacity, you should be careful about how you use the contents of this valuable emotional storehouse. So, when you use up most of your emotional assets on anger and doom loop thinking, you have very little left for emotions that foster happiness and wellness. I’m not saying that you must always smile and feel happy, but it’s a good idea to protect your emotional space by mentally maintaining a buffer around yourself, preventing negative thoughts from manifesting in your personal space.
For instance, when I realized that sometimes these doom loop thought cycles engulfed me in gloom –causing emotional discomfort — I began searching for ways to prevent negativity from taking hold in my emotions. I practiced using my mental focus to strengthen the belief that my emotions were encircled, safe and protected from doom loop thoughts.
The same way a basketball player uses mental focus to manifest the perfect, three point shot — or a businessperson prepares for a presentation —you can use mental focus to protect and shield your emotions. I focus on a globe shaped buffer – like a white bubble surrounding my upper body — that forms and protects my mental/emotional space. Negative thoughts and negative thought cycles are prohibited in my safety bubble, in fact, they bounce off of it. (You can also think of this buffer as made of bubble wrap that you can breathe through.)
This reminds me of the theory that says you “create your own reality.” I don’t think there is a complete, accepted definition of just how people can construct their own, personal reality. But we could restate this theory and say that your thoughts create your reality, because your thoughts shape your experiences and set the tone for your day, which is basically your reality. So, if you wake up angry and complain about everything, you are probably setting yourself up for a less than satisfactory (maybe even depressing) day.
Regardless of your wake-up schedule, I think it’s important to generate a positive outlook for yourself as you face the day. For instance, when I wake up, I often repeat positive affirmations or put on some music that makes me feel like laughing, ensuring that I start the day in a good mood.
Be protective of your emotional health and if you can, try to periodically take vacations from people in your circle of friends who daily choose to wallow in an emotional swamp of gloom, oozing negativity and using self-defeating statements. Yes, Happiness is often a choice, but achieving happiness could be an uphill fight if you allow yourself to be over-exposed to the self-defeating thoughts of others.
While many people find that maintaining an attitude of thankfulness cheers them up, that technique simply does not work on me. But when something goes wrong, I often get great results by thinking of how worse it could be. For instance, when my cat throws up on the carpet, I don’t gripe, I just think “he could have missed the litter box,” which definitely would have been worse.
I realize that many people don’t feel like they have a realistic reason to cheer up. But you can find happiness in difficult situations if you flip the script and see challenges – such as restrictions or lack – as opportunities for learning as you seek a path forward. It is my opinion that unwanted emotional trials are actually just learning experiences, making you stronger and helping you add new accessories to your coping skills toolbox. What is your current situation teaching you about life, and how can this experience help you in the future?
Life is a process of becoming. By fully appreciating and accepting this journey — even with the growing pains — you will manifest more energy to realize your dreams.
(You can help support Simply Natural Medicine’s work by using our Amazon Associate links.)
We highly recommend books by the author and Olympic Gold medal winner, Lanny Bassham, who writes about how to develop a winning attitude “in sports and in life.”
Click here to access Lanny Bassham’s book, With Winning in Mind, on Amazon!
As mentioned before, there is a short list of supplements I trust to maintain that all-important positive mental attitude. These include L-Theanine, Rhodiola Rosea, and Taurine. I’ve provided links below to introduce products I have used successfully.
L-Theanine – A well-known calming supplement, often consumed with coffee in the morning.
Click here to see L-Theanine Capsules on Amazon!
Rhodiola Rosea – A well-known supplement, historically used to maintain emotional balance.
Click here to see Rhodiola Rosea Capsules on Amazon!
Taurine – I find this supplement to be very calming … use as directed.
Click here to see Taurine Capsules on Amazon!
Hey, click here to access our article on stress an anxiety!
REFERENCES
Bassham, L. R. (2011). With Wining in Mind, 3rd Ed.
Byrne, Rhonda (2006). The Secret. Beyond Words Publishing, Inc.
Christopher, L. (2024). About Logan Christopher. https://breakingmuscle.com/author/logan-ch
Sutton, J. (2024). How to be mentally strong & build mental toughness. https://positivepsychology.com/mentally-strong/#the-benefits-of-mental-fortitude. Positive Psychology.
This article was written by Vanna Silverwood, medical writer and outspoken advocate for natural medicine: Simply Natural Medicine.com … Encouraging stability, helping you clarify your health goals … we are always for humans by humans.