Beat Holiday Depression! Has the season of giving got you down? Flip the Script for better emotional health!

According to the television commercials, the holidays make everyone happy; but for many, “Tis the season” — with its often-dreary weather — can sometimes put us in a depressed state, bringing about feelings of loss … putting a spotlight on what we don’t have or what we’ve lost over the years.

And these feelings of emptiness can deepen the depression and intensify an already-depressed life outlook, I’m going to introduce you to methods for dealing with depression-based thoughts, focusing on ways to flip the script and improve your mindset in general.

For myself, since I know from past holidays that depression may overtake me, I work to prevent that downer of an experience by surrounding my holiday self with funny songs and movies that make me laugh.

As a matter of fact, the week before Thanksgiving I was busy writing, and I took a break to watch the movie: “A Christmas Carol Goes Wrong,” streaming on Prime Video. It is a very funny movie about an off-beat theater group and its goofy production of A Christmas Carol, the classic story by Charles Dickens.

I had chosen this movie in an effort to prevent myself from falling into holiday depression (again,) hoping it would make me smile.

With constant running gags and a fight over who would play Scrooge, I was laughing till I had tears in my eyes. I was in a great mood … when I absent-mindedly opened up a news app.

The first news article that came up described a political situation that was a pet peeve of mine.

And my mood suddenly took a nosedive – spiraling downward — and I began to feel upset almost immediately, but I kept reading. I was hooked, caught up in a doom loop of worried thoughts: I was doom scrolling!

When this doom scrolling realization sank in, it occurred to me that in difficult times – and especially during the holidays – people often get caught up in what I like to call “doom loop thinking.”

When faced with all of this difficult-to-control unhealthy thinking, people often find themselves indulging in destructive habits. These might include things like binge eating, binge drinking, and binge doom scrolling, which is a new kind of binge.

It goes like this: you look on Reddit to learn more about a matter that concerns you and then find yourself slowly sucked in and swept away by everyone else’s fears about that same subject.

And even though it’s nice to know you aren’t the only one worried about the issue, a growing sense of anxiety overtakes you as you scroll … and you are unaware of that anxiety until you come up for air and yell at the cat!

I was well aware that this doom loop thinking was partly caused by my problem with holiday depression, but this time, I was prepared to deal with it because I had just been learning about the importance of being in control of my own personal emotional space.

The term “emotional space” has many different meanings, but in this case, I am referring to the part of the self that is filled with emotions and thoughts.

This is the area of yourself that thinks over problems, deliberates, and engages in self-talk. (I often think of this area as being located around the upper body, because that’s often where emotional thinking happens.)

As much as we try to deny it, we all talk to ourselves (self-talk.) Whether we say positive, uplifting comments, or negative comments – sometimes judgmental — these self-conversations are often emotionally charged.

While happy, emotionally uplifting self-talk can improve your mental state and sense of wellness, negative self-talk can easily result in an all-consuming, emotional doom loop that snowballs and grows out of control, putting you in a depressed state.

In fact, the issue of self-talk is such a common problem in this situation that I’m going to spend some time discussing negative self-talk and how you can use positive self talk to break free from that self-defeating cycle of words gone wrong.

This concept always reminds me of that TV show The Flintstones’ “Bad luck schlep rock” character, who carries a storm cloud with him wherever he goes. And that cloud didn’t appear out of nowhere.

Oh no, he built that storm cloud by making a habit of gloomy, negative thinking, and eventually his self-image actually took on the character of that storm cloud.

Olympic gold medalist Lanny Bassham, in his awesome book about developing a winning attitude — With Winning in Mind — says that when you allow negative thoughts to rule your mental/emotional space, those thoughts can build up within you and actually become your self-image.

And then you feel like you’ve got a big letter “L” on your forehead.

Negative thoughts — circling in your head — act like a battery and form further worried thoughts … giving them life … kind of reminds you of Frankenstein’s monster: It’s alive! (It’s a doom loop.)

In fact, Bassham says that when you engage in negative self-talk, complain, or express your worry about failing (losing,) what really happens is that you focus all of your mental energy on losing. Then your self-image takes on the character of losing and the result is that you often lose.

This reminds me of what happened when several friends of mine watched the movie: The Secret. The movie prompted them to write themselves a check for desired funds. Apparently, the amount written on the check was supposed to magically appear in their lives, but the money never manifested.

When The Secret’s suggestions didn’t work for them, they did not seem all that surprised. This may be because the idea of actually receiving something valuable did not match their ingrained habits of negative thinking: they had a Bad luck schlep rock mentality.

Bassham not only emphasizes the importance of speaking to yourself with uplifting statements that affirm your self-worth, but he also explains that you should avoid using self-defeating expressions like “I’m not able to … ” and “I can’t win … I can’t make this work …”

And speaking from personal experience (yeah, I’ve been there) people who have depressed thoughts often find themselves unintentionally immersed in self-defeating statements and “woe-is-me” thinking.

On the other hand, positive self-talk prevents you from living by Murphy’s law, which states that “what can go wrong, will go wrong.” Restated, this could be “what you believe can go wrong, will go wrong.” Let me explain what I mean.

I learned a lesson about negative self-talk when I first started working in an Assisted Living facility.

Right off the bat, I realized that all employees — regardless of their position — sometimes had to serve food in the dining rooms. I was extremely concerned that I was going to spill something on someone because I had never worked in a restaurant or anything like that …

There on my first day, I knew I should be using uplifting self-talk — giving myself a pep talk — but I was nervous, which often brings on negative self-talk for me — and then I “drop the ball.”

So, I kept trying to encourage myself – the wrong way – by telling myself what I was “not going to do.”

And just by talking to myself and saying things like “You are clumsy,” and “You always spill things” and even “Now, don’t spill anything on anybody, you know how you are” …

So, you actually create a visual of yourself spilling, centering your focus on the messy situation you are trying to avoid.

The result of your negative self-talk is that it makes you nervous, so that you actually do spill.

Bassham also suggests that constantly putting yourself down (using degrading self-talk) raises your stress level, making errors more likely, and this can lead to depression and maybe even failure.

Since I had been using negative words to describe myself, it should not have surprised me that when I first walked into the dining room for my new job at the assisted living facility, I walked right up to a nice, little old lady and spilled a whole cup of milk in her lap.

She had no obvious reaction (I guess somebody had spilled milk on her before,) but I began to feel that I should have phrased my personal pep talk in more positive terms. In fact, I should have been telling myself, “I serve food and drinks easily, with careful movements and graceful delivery,” (like a gazelle!)

I’d like to add that this method could be applied to nearly any situation that requires you to maintain a calm, stable emotional state, which is often the opposite of what you feel when you are depressed.

Some suggestions for positive self-talk might be things like:

Seasons change and I’ll be back in the sun again in a few months, yeah! A well as: I am liked. I am loved. I am worthy. I have everything I need for success.

And … I make good choices, and I am headed in the right direction. I know and believe that new opportunities are coming … I will make the right connections and be successful in all that I do.

Life is a continuing process, I’ll win by being patient!

Joe Gallenberger in his book, Liquid Luck, says that for this affirmations-type positive self-talk to be most effective, you need to generate a higher emotion as you say the words.  

One of the easiest higher emotions you can use is love or in this case,love for yourself. To identify this emotion better, you can draw from a past experience that made you feel very loved …

Or you can think about the love you feel for a pet (worked for me) and recreate that feeling of love but focus that deep, giving love on yourself — while you say the affirmations.

Another thing to consider … when you examine your thoughts, sometimes you may discover what I call “doom loop talk,” which is similar to what happens when doom scrolling.

It starts with an idea that troubles you, then you go through a cycle of emotionally charged self-talk regarding the issue of concern, reviewing this and that over and over.

There seems to be no solution, but you often find yourself repeating this addictive cycle of doom and gloom in your head, until your anxiety level skyrockets.

When I realized that sometimes doom loop thought cycles engulfed me in gloom — resulting in emotional discomfort and depression — I began searching for ways to prevent negativity from taking hold in my emotions.

Here’s an interesting idea: according to one school of thought, each person has access to a specific amount of emotional energy, which should be conserved like a precious resource.

For instance, giving yourself over to negative thinking and worry encourages more negative thinking and worry, and this doom cycle wastes your precious emotional energy!

This is important because when you use up most of your emotional assets on anger and doom loop thinking, you have very little left for emotions that help you maintain happiness and wellness.

But if you realize that you are regularly getting down on yourself and using negative self-talk, you might want to set aside time to examine your thoughts, sitting quietly for 10 to 20 minutes and listening to the thoughts you find running through your head.

It’s amazing how many negative things you say to yourself without realizing it!

One way to opt out of this negative (doom loop) self-talk is to “keep a quiet mind,” and this often provides you with greater emotional strength … filling up your emotional piggy bank.

To use this technique, simply determine to keep your mind quiet for 10 minutes; and if any thoughts appear, simply shoo them out for that period of time. I do this whenever I feel anxious, and it really calms me down.

I’m not trying to say that you must always smile and feel happy, but it’s a good idea to protect your emotional space by keeping a mental buffer around yourself — like a bubble — which will help you prevent negative thoughts from gaining a foothold in your personal space.

I practice using mental focus to strengthen the belief that my emotions are encircled, safe and protected from doom loop thoughts.

But the same way a basketball player uses mental focus to manifest the perfect, three point shot — or a businessperson prepares for a presentation — you can use mental focus to protect and shield your emotions.

Personally, I focus on this globe-shaped buffer – like a white bubble surrounding my upper body — that forms and protects my mental/emotional space. Negative thoughts and negative thought cycles are prohibited in my safety bubble, in fact, they bounce off of it.

(You can also use your imagination and think of this buffer as made of emotionally-protective, invisible bubble wrap that you can breathe through.) 

It looks kind of like this …

This reminds me of the theory that says you “create your own reality.” I don’t think there is a complete, accepted definition of just how people can construct their own, personal reality.

But we could restate this theory and say that your thoughts create your reality, because your thoughts shape your experiences and set the tone for your day, which is basically your reality.

So, if you wake up angry and complain about everything, you are probably setting yourself up for a less than satisfactory (maybe even depressing) day.

Regardless of your wake-up habits, I think it’s important to generate a positive outlook for yourself as you face the day. For instance, when I wake up, I often repeat positive affirmations or put on some music that makes me feel like laughing, ensuring that I start the day in a good mood.

And although happiness is often a choice, achieving happiness could be an uphill fight if you allow yourself to be over-exposed to the self-defeating statements of others.

Thinking about your own emotional health, you may come to the realization that one of your friends-or-family is emotionally draining; and in this case, you may find it beneficial to take some time for yourself and avoid that person for a short period of time (I actually had this experience.)

In fact, one thing that may help you prevent seasonal depression is to periodically take a vacation (go outside for a moment) from those friends or family members who choose to wallow in an emotional swamp of gloom, oozing negativity and openly using self-defeating statements, while stuffing the turkey.

Actually, some people say that when you practice keeping a quiet mind, it is very similar to taking a vacation from yourself!

While many find that maintaining an attitude of thankfulness cheers them up, that technique often does not work on me. But when something goes wrong, it cheers me up to think how worse it could be, which is actually a type of thankfulness for what you’ve got.

For instance, when my cat throws up on the carpet — I don’t gripe — I just think “he could have missed the litter box,” which definitely would have been worse.

I realize that many people don’t feel like they have a realistic reason to cheer up. But you can find happiness in difficult situations if you flip the script and see challenges – such as restrictions or lack – as opportunities for learning as you seek a path forward.

It is my opinion that unwanted emotional trials are actually just learning experiences, making you stronger and helping you add new accessories to your coping skills toolbox.

What is your current situation teaching you about life, and how can this experience help you in the future?

Can you see this experience globally? Are you seeing the whole picture … Can you broaden your scope? … Can you acknowledge that the past is gone, seasons change, and the future holds great possibilities for success? (Yes, the universe is on your side!)

Can you use a failed experience to give yourself a boost toward future success?

Life is a process of becoming. By fully appreciating and accepting this journey — even with the growing pains — you will manifest more energy to realize your dreams!

Think about it, there must be higher love … Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above. Without it, life is wasted time … Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine.

Steve Winwood

This article was written by Vanna Silverwood, medical writer and outspoken advocate for natural medicine: see more at: Simplynaturalmedicine.com. Encouraging stability, helping you clarify your health goals … we are always“Natural by Nature!“

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We highly recommend books by the author and Olympic Gold medal winner, Lanny Bassham, who writes about how to develop a winning attitude “in sports and in life.”

Click here to see Lanny Bassham’s book,”With Winning in Mind,” on Amazon!

And for a even more good vibes:
 Click here to see Joe Gallenberger’s book, “Liquid Luck” on Amazon!

As mentioned above, there is a short list of supplements I trust to maintain that all-important positive mental attitude. These include L-Theanine, Rhodiola Rosea, and Taurine. These are my go-to supplements when I’m having a bad day … but if you are experiencing extremely bad emotional states, it’s important to see a doctor.

L-Theanine – A well-known calming supplement that can perk you up, and it’s often consumed with coffee in the morning.

Click here to see L-Theanine Capsules on Amazon!

Rhodiola Rosea – A well-known supplement, historically used to maintain emotional balance. And it works!

Click here to see Rhodiola Rosea Capsules on Amazon!

Taurine – I find this supplement to be very calming … use as directed.

Click here to see Taurine Capsules on Amazon!

Hey, click here to access our article on stress and anxiety!

Sources

Bassham, L. R. (2011). With Wining in Mind, 3^rd Ed. Mental Management Systems.

Byrne, Rhonda (2006). The Secret. Beyond Words Publishing, Inc.

Gallengerger, Joe (2014). Liquid Luck: The Good Fortune Handbook. Rainbow Ridge Publishing.

Sutton, J. (2024). How to be mentally strong & build mental toughness. Positive Psychology. https://positivepsychology.com/mentally-strong/

Winwood, Steve and Jennings, W (1986). Higher Love. Island Records.